Into the wild
by Animedemon01
Summary: Team 5Ds goes camping. Cue everything that can go wrong, going wrong. Written for Yu-gi-oh 5Ds month.


In ancient times, people survived off the land for their whole lives. As for team 5Ds, even with modern camping equipment, they couldn't survive for a single day.

Even before they even parked their rented van at the campsite, Crow and Jack managed to get into a fight that ended with Crow being thrown out of the thankfully slow-moving van, and Yusei taking his eyes off the road just long enough to hit a Tanuki, killing the poor creature along with his deposit on the van.

After almost an hour of searching, when they finally found their campsite, the guys realized that none of them knew how to set up a tent. Ruka and Aki had managed to set up their tent in a matter of minutes, but none of the guys-not even Yusei-thought about asking them for help. Eventually the two other tents stood upright, sort of.

As Yusei was finally getting things on track, Crow decided to take his revenge on Jack by throwing mud in the taller man's face. Jack swore at Crow as he attempted to wipe the mud off his face a clump of leaves; he later learned they were poison ivy.

Lunch turned out to also be a bust, as the only thing anyone had brought to eat was marshmallows, chocolate bars, and gram crackers for smores. Crow, not being one to skip a meal, went back to where they had hit the Tanuki, and dragged the mangled raccoon dog back to their campsite.

"Please don't tell me you're planning doing what I think you're planning on doing." Aki muttered.

"I'm making Tanuki burgers, if that's what you were thinking." Said Crow, brandishing a knife.

"You're going to give us all bloody food poisoning." Jack told him. "Get rid of that thing at once!"

In the end, Crow did end up making and cooking Tanuki burgers, but everyone else, fearing what might happen if they ate them, simply skipped lunch and planned on catching some fish for dinner. Crow claimed the burgers were delicious, but nobody was about to see if his claims were true or not.

Their plans of fishing were likely also doomed from the start, as nobody had brought any type of fishing equipment, and the closest thing they'd brought to string, was a thick rope. Yusei suggested they forage for materials or possibly another source of food, and almost everyone went with it.

Crow, on the other hand, thought it might be a better idea to set up some traps for animals, and took the rope to make some snares. Unfortunately, he neglected to tell anyone of his plan, and Aki ended up getting caught in his trap, resulting in a sprained ankle for her, and a black eye for Crow. Yusei decided that they would just have smores for dinner.

Since he assumed very little could go wrong on a hike, Yusei decided they should do just that. Jack, whose face was now red and itchy from the poison ivy before, stayed behind with Aki. Adding to Yusei's calm demeanor was the fact that someone had actually managed to pack a map.

Within the first five minutes of hiking, Yusei managed to find a wasp nest… by stepping on it. Miraculously, he was the only one to actually get stung. If it was anyone else, they probably would've turned back, but since Yusei was so adamant that nothing else could go wrong, he refused to go back. Just like he had predicted, nothing else went wrong. At least on the hike, anyways.

The next hour was an absolute disaster. Ruka ended up being kidnapped by a pack of red foxes, before Yusei had to rescue her, Jack's face swelled up to the point where he couldn't see, and Crow nearly ended up passing out in a puddle of his own vomit after becoming ill from the Tanuki burgers.

It wasn't until Rua decided to peer into a fallen log, only to find a very angry porcupine (which really confused everyone, considering porcupines don't even live in Japan), and ended up with its quills in his face, that Yusei decided that camping just wasn't for him, and packed everything back into the van.

After the embarrassment of not being able survive in the wilderness for even a few hours-much less an entire day-wore off, Yusei drove everyone to the nearest emergency room, where they were all being treated for something different; Yusei for 23 wasp stings, Crow for food poisoning, Jack for poison ivy, Rua for porcupine quills stuck in his face, Ruka for the possibility that one of the foxes may have bitten her, and Aki for a sprained ankle. When Yusei explained how everyone had gotten injured, the doctor had laughed in his face.

All in all, they learned two things from their camping trip. First, if the story of how you ended up in the emergency room is funny enough, the doctors might just bring in other staff members, and have you tell the story to them as well, so they can laugh at you two. Second, team 5Ds should never ever go camping again.


End file.
